In the TV series NCIS, the protagonist Gibbs brings a code of practice to his team — something to live by — with his set of rules. I have often wondered what my rules or lessons would be?
On reflection, they are encapsulated in the stories and discussions I have had, and still have, with my family around the dinner table.
I have written down some of my favourite life lessons. Most are my own invention (I think) although some may have been derived from readings or conversations with others. A few have attributions where I know that I have used the words of others. The list is evolving so there may be more added as I reflect on my experiences.
Originally I called my list "Life's Rules". However, my colleague, A/Prof Sally Totman-Marshall, suggested that the title would be better called "Life's Lessons". At that point, the title stuck. So, to Sally, thank you.
#01
Never be violent. Remember, verbal abuse is violence.
#02
Never finish the day angry. Resolve your differences first.
#03
You can’t be right all of the time.
#04
Compromise always contains a promise.
#05
If you make a decision, you only make one person happy. If we make a decision then everybody is happy.
#06
A decision is just a step in a new direction.
#07
When making big decisions together, ask how the other person feels rather than what they think.
#08
Don’t worry about things that can’t be changed. They can’t be changed.
#09
Thinking together only takes half the energy of thinking by yourself.
#10
Having an opinion doesn’t mean you are right.
#11
If you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Move on.
#12
It’s better to be wrong now than to be wrong later.
#13
You can take back an unspoken thought but you can’t take back a spoken one.
#14
A solution to a problem is a way forward, not an answer.
#15
Share one of your weaknesses and ask for help to strengthen your resolve.
#16
Find a way to say ‘yes’ rather than a reason to say ‘no’.
(Joe
Graffam)
#17
Don’t knock yourself out of a race. Race and win, or let someone else knock you out.
#18
You can only control your own actions. You can’t control the actions of others.
#19
Times change. When I grew up all photos were black and white. Now, black and white is a special effect.
#20
Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.
(Randy Pausch)
#21
Good leaders take all of the blame when things go wrong and take less of
the credit when things go right.
(Jane den Hollander)
#22
Reward often comes in many and varied small packages; don’t overlook them in a quest for one large reward.
#23
Good leaders provide a big reward moment for a job well done.
#24
Reward comes from how you feel, not from how you are recognised.
#25
There is music in the noise around you; all you need to do is listen.
#26
Not only must you “do the thing right”, you must always “do the right thing”.
#27
Success is driven by being brave enough to fail.
(Kirk Douglas)
#28
What we strive for is quality, not qualifications. A qualification is only one measure of quality.
#29
I achieve all that is asked of me. If you ask me to excel, then I will achieve that as well.
#30
Opportunity is a great motivator.
#31
There is no such thing as a formula for success, only a successful formula.
#32
If you want to show your worth, you need to show your growth, not just your achievements.
#33
The future is governed, not by what we do now, but by what we do next.
#34
The role of the teacher is to enable the growth of others.
#35
If we listen to history, it will tell us what we should, and should not do, next.
#36
The most important, yet least used communication technique, is listening.
#37
The key to building a high-performing team is to listen to their unspoken words.
#38
Because you can, doesn’t mean you should: but when you should, do what you can.